Posts Tagged ‘The Essay Expert’

The Morality of Using College Essay Consultants

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I’m inspired today to address a sticky topic:  the moral issues around getting help with your personal statement/essays for college or MBA admissions.

Let me start by saying that The Essay Expert’s college essay consultants and MBA admissions consultants do NOT write essays for college and business school applicants.  When I get calls requesting that service (and I do get those calls), I have no problem turning down the business.

What Do We Do?personal statement writing

What do we do at The Essay Expert?  We coach.  We explore ideas.  We help applicants see what is unique about them and their life experiences.  We draw connections.  We suggest directions to take, layers to add, and ways to best impress an admissions committee.  Sure, we also might suggest a few grammatical or organizational corrections.  But in the end, the essay is ALWAYS the client’s essay, NOT ours.

Still, there are people who are troubled by the concept of what we do.  Here’s a comment I received after posting a request for a college essay coach:

“… I find this topic/”profession” very troublesome. It’s a slippery slope from coaching a young person about choosing a topic and format and helping them focus to, in effect, writing it for them or do such extensive edits that it’s no longer the student’s PERSONAL essay. Yes, I’m sure there are essay consultants that put on the brakes, and this one could be one of them, but a position description that is so blatant about the role (“…take a drab college application essay and turn it into gold!”) … gives me pause. I’m not naive – far from it – but of all the pieces in the college application package subject to “help”, the essay should be the most sacrosanct.”

The concerns expressed here are my concerns as well, and my promise is that The Essay Expert does not go down that slippery slope.  Yes, I promise to turn the drab into gold, but by asking key questions of the applicant – not by writing the essay.

The NYT and The WSJ Chime In

Not long after receiving the above comment, I also came across a New York Times article, Crafting an Application Essay That ‘Pops’, which related the results of a conference attended by nearly 5,000 admissions officers and counselors.  The group, which included professors, admissions officers, and other college administrators, offered nine pieces of practical advice for writing personal statements.  I was happy, and frankly relieved, to see “Have an editor. All panelists advised having a close, trusted editor and an objective, outside reader.”

Soon after, an article came out in The Wall Street Journal with a similar message to M.B.A. applicants:  In Looking for an Edge:  MBA applicants are turning to pricey consultants to help them navigate the daunting admissions process , The WSJ reports that 20% of admitted students say they used an M.B.A. admissions advisor in the application process.  Furthermore, the article relates, “As the consulting industry has grown, some business schools have become more accepting of it.” In fact, the managing director of M.B.A. admissions and financial aid at Harvard Business School uses admissions consultants as a resource “to ‘get some field intelligence’ about how prospective students view the school and its admissions process.”

The Difference We Make

It is unquestionable that having a talented editor can give applicants an edge.  And not everyone has a family member, guidance counselor or close friend who can serve as an editor or consultant.  That’s where The Essay Expert comes in.  Indeed, what we offer that a friend or relative cannot, is an objective eye and the perspective of someone who has read dozens, if not hundreds, of essays.  We will make sure your essay does not sound like anyone else’s.

It is especially difficult to find a reliable advisor for M.B.A. admissions, where very specialized knowledge of business schools and their admissions processes is key to choosing the right essay focus and application strategy. In fact, one of our recent clients had enrolled several business school graduate friends to review his essays, yet still required ten hours of our consultant’s time to retool just two of his essay sets.

Lingering Questions

I understand there is still an issue present.  What about people who don’t know someone who can help, and who also can’t afford to hire someone? I am concerned about that point myself, and do provide assistance to a limited number of clients for a reduced fee or some type of trade.  I don’t believe I have been contacted by anyone thus far whom I turned away solely due to lack of ability to pay.

I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this topic. Admissions officers seem to have accepted that many applicants use paid consultants to assist them with the admissions process. Does this fact allay any of the concerns you might have had?

I believe The Essay Expert provides an extremely valuable service and that we do not cross the ethical line that would have students presenting an essay that is not theirs. And we do help students transform pedantic or blah essays into stories that capture the hearts and minds of the admissions committee.

Have you done things because you *should* even though you didn’t *want* to? How did it go?

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This week I watched the film “Temple Grandin,” a true story about a brilliant – and socially outcast – autistic girl.  Temple’s mother forced her to go to college, despite Temple’s desire to work on a ranch instead.  In this case, the mother’s insistence turned out to be best thing that could have happened to Temple.  She went on to get a Masters Degree and to become a professor of Autism and Animal Science at Colorado University.

This movie was timely because I had just been interviewed for an article, published in Forbes, entitled Students Unhappy With College Options Weigh Transfer vs. Gap Year.  A “gap year” is a year off between high school and college, and students who choose to take this year off fall into two categories.  Some are up to great things in the world – training for the Olympics, trekking in Nepal, studying marine life on the barrier reef.  These students have a passion that they want to pursue and college takes second seat to these dreams.

The other category would have preferred to go straight to college, but they do not get admitted to a school they want to attend.  Should they go to their “safety” school or spend a year doing something else, hoping they will have better luck next year?

 

What if my child wants to take a year off?

If you’re the parent of a student considering a gap year, and if you strongly believe she should go to a safety school rather than take a year off, see if you can get her to come to that decision herself.  As I stated in the Forbes article, I believe that forcing a teenager to go to a school she thinks she’ll hate can be a recipe for disaster.  I believe Temple Grandin was the exception rather than the rule.

 

Life’s Unpredictability

Many students who do attend schools that were not on the top of their list end up having a great time (as attested to by Carolyn Mulligan, College Admissions Consultant). I believe most of these students came to the decision themselves to attend a less than perfect school. I have experienced this type of phenomenon myself; when I first started my business, I thought I would hate marketing.  Guess what?  It’s my favorite part of my job!

On the flip side, sometimes you think you will love something only to find out it was not the right fit after all.  This happened to me as well: I thought I’d like being a lawyer, and discovered it was not the perfect fit I had imagined.

Do your research!

For high school seniors, before jumping in to what looks like an undesirable situation, and before saying a definite no, visit the school.  Speak to students.  Sit in on classes. Maybe even stay overnight and eat breakfast in the cafeteria or dining hall.  If at all possible, find out what it’s like to be there.  Then make your decision.

If you do decide to take a year off, make it a valuable year.  Learn something you wouldn’t have learned in college.  Gain life experience.  Become more of the person you want to be.  If you can do any of those things, in my opinion, you will not only be a better college candidate the following year, but you will be a more fulfilled human being.

Have you ever accepted an offer for a job or school admission that you thought you would love and ended up hating?  Or discovered you didn’t fit as well as you thought you would in a job or a school?  What’s your advice for students facing these decisions?

Could The Essay Expert be out of a Job? LinkedIn Introduces Profile Makeovers

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I need your help.

LinkedIn announced on August 9, 2011 that they have rolled out yet another new feature on their site:  the “Improve Your Profile Tool.”  According to the LinkedIn blog, this tool “analyzes your profile and offers you personalized profile recommendations to help you put your best foot forward.”

Clichés aside, this tool could be extremely useful to you if your profile is not 100% complete, or if you have failed to include key information.

Here’s my problem: 

I ran the Profile Makeover on my own profile, and all it told me was that I didn’t advertise my date of graduation from high school (I left it out by choice, as some of you might as well); I didn’t list the degree I got from high school (pretty obvious isn’t it?); and I didn’t specify the concentration of my J.D. (there wasn’t one – a J.D. is a J.D.).

Where I’m left, as a LinkedIn profile writer and editor, is that I have no idea what other types of suggestions LinkedIn might make to its users who have not optimized their profiles.

That’s where you come in.

I would love for you to put your profile through the Improve Your Profile process and report back on this blog what the tool tells you is missing or incorrect in your profile.

I will then know what advice I should be giving to people about LinkedIn, and what information LinkedIn will take care of.  I don’t want to be duplicating things unnecessarily!  The data you provide will greatly inform the content I choose to convey in my e-book and LinkedIn webinars.

To use the tool, start at LinkedIn’s article, LinkedIn Profile Makeovers just got easier, and then click in “Improve your LinkedIn Profile today!”

LinkedIn Improve Your Profile

Are you game?  I look forward to learning from the community what improvements LinkedIn thinks you should make to your profile.

I promise to make good use of your comments.  And I don’t really think I am out of a job…  I just won’t be doing the things a computer can do quite well on its own.  Just in case, though, maybe I should make sure my LinkedIn profile is updated.

Any ideas on how I can do that?

Would You Follow You? Top 10 Ways to Be a LEADER

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Spurred in part by an exercise I did at an ActionCOACH business planning workday, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a leader.  My commitment is to be a great one, and I’m getting clear that in order to be successful, there are certain traits that I must possess.

Here are my top ten:leader

  1. Deliver clear, consistent communication. Of course there are no guarantees that everyone will understand the communication the way you meant it. At least if you’re clear and consistent, you minimize the possibility of misinterpretation or gaps in the lines of command.
  2. Learn from your mistakes and miscommunications. If you keep making the same mistakes, you are not being a leader. You are just being insane. Learning from your mistakes requires a willingness to self-evaluate, and a commitment to the utmost integrity.
  3. Be charismatic. What this means is to be present in the moment.  Show up as who you are and not the way you think you should be. Charisma also requires a sense of humor!
  4. Be unstoppable. Obstacles and challenges are bound to arise.  If you stop to carefully examine the obstacle you will not get past it.  Keep looking toward your goals, and obstacles will have nothing on you.
  5. Have vision. Know why you are doing what you are doing, and have it be about something or someone other than you (or money).  Vision will help you be unstoppable and inspiring.
  6. Be inspiring. Ask yourself, “Would you follow you?” If the answer is no, “Stop, drop and roll” and get yourself back in alignment.  Get yourself to “Yes.” Take action! And be the inspiring leader you know you truly are.
  7. Support the people around you. The measure of a great leader is the success of the people he or she leads. If the people around you are learning and growing, you’re doing something right.
  8. Be willing to change direction. Stubbornly charging toward a particular goal in a particular way is a recipe for disaster.  Flexibility will allow for unexpected expansion and miraculous results. Keep looking for the next way to grow.
  9. Be committed. Dabblers and dilettantes will not get very far in leading anyone.  Leaders can be counted on to be 100% in the game and to ride out the ups and downs.
  10. Know that it’s a game, and play full-out. Play a BIG game.  That way if you win, you win, and if you lose, you win.

 

Looking at my list, I notice there are places where I’m right on, and others where there is a gap between where I am and where I want to be.  This is good news!  I get to learn and grow and always strive to more fully embody the qualities of a leader.

What do you see for yourself in this list? Please share in the comments below.

How to Avoid Embarrassing Editing Marks on Your Documents! MS Word’s Track Changes Program

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Ever get a document back from an editor that has tons of red or blue lines (maybe even some green ones), and have no idea how to get rid of them all, or view the document the way it’s supposed to look?  This article is for you!

[Thanks to Larry Sochrin, MBA Admissions Consultant at The Essay Expert, for contributing instructions for Mac users.]

Tracked Changes

Don't Submit a Document that Looks Like This!

Why I Love Track Changes

Microsoft Word has a very useful feature called “Track Changes” that keeps track of changes that an editor makes to a document, and allows subsequent readers to see what changes were made.  When the “Track Changes” feature is turned on, anyone who opens the document can see every change made to the original document, whether to fonts, page formats, margins, and text.

Track Changes also has a “Comments” feature that allows explanations and suggestions to be entered in the margins of your document.

The value of Track Changes to me as an editor is that my clients can see what I’ve changed, and I can see the changes they make.  I do not then have to go through their resume word by word to see what alterations have occurred.  It’s also easy to accept or reject changes, without having to change individual fonts or colors.  Gone are the days of manually inserting a strikethrough to indicate a deletion!

The Dangers of Track Changes

Track Changes can be troublesome too. You don’t want to send a document with lots of red lines and bubbles all over it to an employer or a school (many people have embarrassing stories of doing this)! The recipient then sees all the suggestions, changes, and possibly the original language and mistakes that needed changing.

As part of proofreading and preparing the final draft of a resume, cover letter, or essay, take the following steps to ensure that you do not inadvertently send a marked up copy to an employer:

Directions for MS Word 2007/2010

Review Tab

Review Tab

1)  Check to see if there are any comments or tracked changes in the document:

  • Go to the “Review” tab and click on the window that says “Final Showing Markup.”  Go to the “Show Markup” menu and make sure there are check marks in all the boxes (otherwise you might not see the comments or formatting changes when you look at “Final Showing Markup”)
  • NOTE:  If the window says “Final” and you do not see any redlines, this does not mean they are gone!  Make sure you are viewing the markups before determining that your document is clean.

2)  If you do not see any changes or comments and you do not make any other changes to the document, you’re good to go.

3)  However, if you do see comments and tracked changes, you can do one of two things:

  1. Change “Final: Show Markup” to “Final” and save the final document as a PDF. This solution works if the place you’re submitting your resume accepts .pdf files.
  2. Accept all the tracked changes and delete all edits and comments (unless you only want to accept some of them, in which case see step 4).  NOTE:  You need to delete edits SEPARATELY from comments!
  • Under the “Review” tab, go to “Accept” icon and accept all changes.
  • Under the “Review” tab, go to the icon that says “Delete” (next to the “New Comment” icon, and click “Delete All Comments in Document.”

4)  If you want to accept some changes and delete others, you can accept or reject changes and comments one at a time by right clicking on them individually. You will get a drop-down menu with choices of what to do.

5)  Repeat Step 1.

Directions for MS Word 2008 for Mac

Track Changes MS Word for Mac

1)  Check to see if there are any comments or tracked changes in the document:

Go to the “View” menu and Select “Toolbars,” and within it select “Reviewing.”  Go to the “Show” drop-down menu and make sure there are check marks next to the first three items shown  (otherwise you might not see the comments or formatting changes when you look at “Final Showing Markup.”)

2)  If you do not see any changes or comments and you do not make any other changes to the document, you’re good to go.

3)  However, if you do see comments and tracked changes, you can do one of two things:

1. Change “Final: Show Markup” to “Final” and save the final document as a PDF. This solution works if the place you’re submitting your resume accepts .pdf files.

2. Accept all the tracked changes and delete all edits and comments (unless you only want to accept some of them, in which case see step 4).  NOTE:  You need to delete edits SEPARATELY from comments!

Go to the drop-down menu with the green checkmark, and select “Accept All Changes in Document.”

Go to the drop-down menu with the red X, and select “Delete All Comments in Document.”

4)  If you want to accept some changes and delete others, you can accept or reject changes and comments one at a time by clicking on the icons with the left arrow or right arrow to move to the previous or next change and then click on the drop-down menus with the green checkmark or red X to  accept or reject each individually.

5)  Repeat Step 1.

 

Directions for MS Word 2003

1)  Check to see if there are any comments or tracked changes in the document.

  • Go to the “View” Menu and click on the “Markup” option. This feature can be switched on or off.  On the Reviewing toolbar, click Show, and then make sure that a check mark appears next to each of the following items. If a check mark does not appear next to an item, click the item to select it.
  1. Comments
  2. Ink Annotations (Word 2003 only)
  3. Insertions and Deletions
  4. Formatting
  5. Reviewers (Point to Reviewers and make sure that All Reviewers is selected.)
  • When on, you will see all the comments and changes. When off, you will see the document in its final form. Note:  the default setting may be set to off. Therefore, never assume your final Word document does not contain any hidden comments or changes!!!

2)  Get rid of all the redlines and comments (you must delete edits and comments separately).  Do this on one of two ways:

  1. Turn off the View Markup option and convert the final form of the document into a PDF.  You can use a program such as Primo PDF (http://www.primopdf.com/).
  2. In the View menu, point to Toolbars, and then click Reviewing.
  • On the Reviewing toolbar, click Next to advance from one revision or comment to the next. Click Accept Change or Reject Change/Delete Comment for each revision or comment. Repeat until all the revisions in the document have been accepted or rejected and all the comments have been deleted.

OR

  • To accept all the changes, click the arrow next to Accept Change, and then click Accept All Changes in Document. If you know that you want to reject all the changes, click the arrow next to Reject Change/Delete Comment, and then click Reject All Changes in Document.
  • THEN, to remove ALL comments, click the arrow next to Reject Change/Delete Comment, and then click Delete All Comments in Document.
  • If you want to accept SOME changes and delete others, you can accept or reject changes and comments one at a time by right clicking on them individually. You will get a drop-down menu with choices of what to do.

3)  Repeat Step 1.

Important notes for all versions of Word:

  1. If you accept all changes before reviewing the document and there is a comment in the middle of your document like “(dates?)” then that change will be accepted and become a part of your document! Make sure you respond to all questions and make any revisions needed inside your document before accepting all changes.
  2. *ALWAYS* proofread your final document at least 3 times!  As much as The Essay Expert and other editors attempt to ensure that your documents are perfect, final approval is ultimately your responsibility.
  3. If you don’t want all your future edits to show up as marked on your document, turn Track Changes off by clicking on it.  It’s a toggled function.  Click it on, click it off.
  4. Finally, when you receive an edited document, whenever possible accept or reject the changes before making your own edits!  This practice will make it much easier to look at the NEW edits you have made to the document.

Have Track Changes questions?  Embarrassing Track Changes stories?  Please share in the Comments below!

Where Should I put my Quotation Marks? Slate Magazine and the Rise of “Logical Punctuation”.

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On May 12, 2011, not one, but TWO of my friends and colleagues pointed me toward an article in Slate Magazine entitled, “The Rise of Logical Punctuation”. In the article, author Ben Yagoda explores the nuances of where to place periods and commas within quotations (inside or outside the quotation marks?).  Not long ago, I wrote an article touching upon much the same topic:  The Quandary of Quotation Marks (“ “).  My conclusion was that the British are much more logical than we are in the U.S., following the rule that punctuation goes inside the quotation marks only when it is part of the quotation.  How simple is that?  And yet I continue to follow the U.S. protocol.Slate Magazine

Slate Magazine itself, as well as The New York Times and the Washington Post, follow AP guidelines and put periods and commas inside the quotation marks.  But Yagoda references a Twitter post by Conan O’Brien, a Wikipedia entry on Frank Sinatra, and the website Pitchfork, all of which follow the British way, with periods and commas lying outside the quotation marks.  He also relates that his students largely refuse to follow the traditional U.S. rules even when they know they will be penalized for doing so.  I highly recommend taking a look at his article for an interesting exploration of why we choose to punctuate the way we do.

Last week my blog explored the distinction between grammar purists and progressives in Steven Sawyer’s guest article, Top 10 Obsolete Grammar Rules.  It looks like we can add number 11.  According to Yagoda, despite the Chicago Manual of Style’s adherence to the traditional style, we may be fast on our way to an obsolete punctuation rule – another feast for progressives.  As Yagoda claims, “A punctuation paradigm is shifting.”  Note:  even under the “new” rules, or the “new normal,” the period belongs inside those quotation marks because it was indeed part of the original sentence in Yagoda’s article.  Crystal clear, right?

By the way, “new normal” was the phrase chosen as “Cliche of the Week” last week by Chris Pash in his blog.

Do you choose to follow the progressive “new normal” when it comes to quotation marks?  Or will you remain a purist?  So far I’m sticking with the old fashioned way, but I feel a possible change erupting.

Top 10 Obsolete Grammar Rules – by Guest Blogger Steven Sawyer

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Article by Steven Sawyer. Edited by Brenda Bernstein, The Essay Expert

Following The Essay Expert’s post about using the “singular they,” some writers in one of my LinkedIn groups were talking about breaking English grammar rules. Several of us spent a few hours discussing the merits, or de-merits, of using “they” as a singular pronoun. We were essentially divided into two camps:  purists, who would never break a time-honored English grammar rule, and progressives, who know all the rules – and delight in breaking them.  By the end of the heated discussion, purists were still purists and progressives remained progressive.

Purists love the predictability of our language and the grammar rules that govern it. They still remember how to diagram a sentence.  They can spot a dangling modifier at 50 yards and pick out a subject-verb agreement error faster than you can say “comma splice.” If you went to their houses you might find that they iron their underwear and alphabetize the canned foods in their pantry. (I know a couple of purists who do that.)

Progressives, on the other hand, believe that breaking rules connects writers with the masses, who stopped thinking about grammar rules decades ago. (If you don’t believe me just ask any passerby to locate the verb in a sentence.)

Just last year, a group of Ivy League English language purists lobbied to have “Thou shalt not break English grammar rules” added as the 11th commandment. But language mavens, dictionary writers and even influential linguists are relaxing many writing standards. Some experts are equating this usage shift to the Great Vowel Shift that took place in England in the 15th century.

So, my Purist grammar friends, what will you do? Will you suck it up and go with the changes in the language as they evolve?  Or are you determined to maintain pristine prose? It’s really okay if purists remain purists. I believe they’ll dwindle over time until they become an extinct species, but they do have their place in our culture today.

Purists, here’s what you’re going to have to swallow if you want to keep pace with our ever changing language.

Top 10 Obsolete Or Seldom Enforced Grammar Rules

  1. Don’t split infinitives. Who would want to shamelessly do that anyway?
  2. Active voice verbs are preferable to passive voice verbs. I will never part with this one. I have encrypted this rule in my memory’s hard drive. Passive voice will forever be stricken from my writing. That makes me a purist for this rule only.
  3. Never start a sentence with “And” or “But.” And why not? It gets easier every time you do it. See 5th paragraph, second sentence.
  4. Never start a sentence with “There is” or “There are.” There are many occasions when starting a sentence with “There is” or “There are” is perfectly acceptable. Boring, perhaps, but acceptable. E.g., There is more Canadian bacon in the United States than in Canada. It would be difficult to change the wording in that sentence without starting with “There is”.
  5. Never end a sentence with a preposition. Now that’s a rule we can all live without.
  6. Always use “more than” instead of “over” with numbers. Okay. Whatever. Math’s not my gig. But truly, either one is acceptable use today. So, purists, get over it.
  7. Data is plural, so the verb must always be plural. So data is what data does? Or data are what data do? If they say so. Anyone with a good ear for English knows the answer to this one.
  8. Don’t start a sentence with “This.” The grammar gurus now say that you can start a sentence with “This.”  But (Ooops, there I go, breaking rule 3. See how easy that was?)  I believe that [practice] is okay and this [guideline] is perfectly acceptable.
  9. Don’t use “free” as an adjective.  E.g., “Can I get that laptop free?”  Nay, nay, writing comrades. That’s purist speak. Feel free to use “for free.” E.g., “Can I get that laptop for free?”
  10. Don’t use “fun” as an adjective.  You purists make me giddy.  You’ve always used “fun” as a noun.  E.g., “We had fun at the game today.” But we progressives like to use it as an adjective. “It was a fun weekend reunion with my family.”

English is an evolving language. A new word gets added to the language every 98 minutes, according to the Global Language Monitor. That’s 14.7 words per day.  As words get added, usage rules undergo changes as well. Will you adopt the new “rules” of grammar? Your answer determines which camp you’re in.

Steven Sawyer is a blogger, author, editor and online English teacher and writing consultant.  Read his blog at http://stevensawyer.wordpress.com/.

Common Grammatical Errors: Passover Readings and the Singular “They”

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God and Grammar

This week I am spending Passover with my family.  Perhaps inspired by the season, I picked up the newsletter that comes from Kolot Chayeinu (“Voices of Our Lives), the synagogue I used to attend in Brooklyn, New York. I read it cover to cover for the first time in months.

It won’t surprise you that a grammatical issue leapt up at me from the pages of the newsletter.  Kathryn Conroy of Kolot Chayeinu writes about the open nature of this progressive congregation:Gender neutral language

“The person who prays because they believe that God will personally make a difference in their daily life is not the least bit threatened by the person standing next to them who does not believe in God at all.”

The Singular “They”

Did you spot the issue in Kathryn’s sentence?  It has become common for writers to refer to a single person, who could be of either gender, as a “they.” This “singular they” construction is grammatically problematic.  Clearly one person does not qualify as a “they,” “their” or “them” (all of which were used in Kathryn’s prose).  Yet we refer, perhaps lazily, or even sloppily, to singles as multiples – because it would be challenging or awkward to be grammatically rigorous.

My uncle once created a neutral pronoun for just this situation:  fub.  It didn’t catch on. So at least for now, we’re still stuck with a lack of a non-gendered singular personal pronoun in the English language.

Given the current state of affairs and my discomfort with the use of the singular “they,” I’ve decided to take on the challenge of improving upon the sentence from Kolot Chayeinu’s newsletter.  How would I write this sentence to avoid grammatical detention?

Rewriting the Sentence

One possibility is:

“The person who prays because he or she believes that God will personally make a difference in his or her daily life is not the least bit threatened by the person standing next to him or her who does not believe in God at all.”

Hmmm…  not so great. Stilted, right? This is exactly the type of sentence Ms. Conroy was avoiding.

Next option:  Gender the language.  Here’s what it looks like:

“The woman who prays because she believes that God will personally make a difference in her daily life is not the least bit threatened by the man standing next to her who does not believe in God at all.”

I was surprised to discover that this sentence is much more powerful than the original – poignant even — in addition to being grammatically sound.  An image is conjured of an actual woman and man standing next to each other praying, rather than of some vague or possible scenario.

Third option:  Make it Plural

“Congregation members who pray because they believe that God will personally make a difference in their daily lives are not the least bit threatened by those standing next to them who do not believe in God at all.”

This sentence is grammatically correct, though in my opinion it doesn’t pack the punch of the gendered option.

The Essay Expert is a Traditionalist

My vote for Kathryn’s sentence is to use a gendered version. And I prefer even the somewhat stilted language of the rigorously neutral option to the grammatically incorrect original. However, I am a traditionalist. The grammar books don’t necessarily agree with me.

Not every situation lends itself to gendered language as well as does Kathryn’s sentence. Sometimes our choice is between the “singular they” and a stilted “he/she” in order to avoid politically incorrect gendered language.  And sometimes making the subject plural does the trick quite gracefully.

My practice in these situations is to pluralized the subject or to use “he or she” rather than “they.” Or, if there are repeated references to a non-gendered “person” or “someone” in a piece of prose, I might alternate between the masculine and feminine pronouns.  When in doubt, I err on the side of feminine pronouns. After all, there are hundreds of years of usage of the traditional “he” to balance things out.

Wikipedia Speaks

Here’s what Wikipedia reports on the acceptability of the singular “they”:

There has been considerable debate as to the acceptability of singular they. Regarding usage, The Chicago Manual of Style notes:

On the one hand, it is unacceptable to a great many reasonable readers to use the generic masculine pronoun (he) in reference to no one in particular. On the other hand, it is unacceptable to a great many readers either to resort to nontraditional gimmicks to avoid the generic masculine (by using he/she or s/he, for example) or to use they as a kind of singular pronoun. Either way, credibility is lost with some readers.Wikipedia

With the 14th edition (1993), the Manual briefly revised its neutral stance to actually recommend “singular use of they and their“, noting a “revival” of this usage and citing “its venerable use by such writers as Addison, Austen, Chesterfield, Fielding, Ruskin, Scott, and Shakespeare.” However, regret regarding that printing is expressed at its website; and with the current 15th edition (2003), it has returned to its original neutral position.

The 2011 translation of the New International Version Bible utilizes singular they instead of “he” or “he or she”, refelecting [sic] changes in English usage. The translators commissioned a study of modern English usage and determined that singular “‘they’ (‘them’/'their’) is by far the most common way that English-language speakers and writers today refer back to singular antecedents such as ‘whoever,anyone,somebody,a person,no one,’ and the like.”

Your Turn

What’s your opinion about how to handle the “singular they”?  Do you have any sample sentences to send me as a challenge?  Do you see any other ways to write Kathryn’s sentence?  And wouldn’t you love to be part of a community where the openness Kathryn describes is a reality?

 

3 Reasons NOT to copy your Resume Summary into your LinkedIn Summary Section!

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Many people on LinkedIn make the mistake of copying their resume summary statements into their LinkedIn Summary section.  There are three major problems with this strategy:

Problem #1: Trite Phrases

Often your resume summary is laden with overused phrases like “Results-oriented team player with a proven track record…” or “Dynamic, motivated self-starter with extensive experience…”LinkedIn Summary Brain

If your resume summary looks anything like the above examples, please rewrite it and hire a professional resume writer if necessary!  This type of language belongs neither on your resume nor in your LinkedIn profile.

Problem #2: LinkedIn Summary Real Estate

You have 2000 characters at your disposal for a LinkedIn Summary, vs. three to four lines maximum for your resume summary.  Why would you choose not to use all that real estate to say something – really say something – about yourself?

Problem #3: Keywords

Your LinkedIn Summary is an essential place for you to insert keywords if you want to be found on LinkedIn.  By inserting a 3-line summary, you lose out on your chance to build keywords into your profile.

Resume Summary Example – For Resumes Only

Here’s an example of a very strong resume summary statement that does NOT belong in a LinkedIn Summary (note I DO like this statement as a resume summary statement – in fact I wrote it!):

LeeAnn Dance — Producer  – Writer — Editor

Award-winning television producer and groundbreaking investigative reporter —  experience covering issues ranging from pre-election to international news, with special emphasis on East Africa.  Creator and writer of highly acclaimed documentaries and promotional videos for non-profit organizations. Eight years as producer for CNN.

LinkedIn Summary Example – Great Model!

What would a LinkedIn Summary look like for LeaAnn?  Here is the statement we wrote for her:

  • Award-winning investigative and documentary television producer

Video production and broadcast journalism have been my passions for over 20 years, ever since receiving my MS in Journalism from Columbia University. I have produced everything from groundbreaking news stories for CNN to promotional videos for non-profit organizations, and I am currently hosting a blog radio show for parents relaunching their careers.

My journalism background gave me the ability to distill a large amount of material and hone in on what’s true and important. I can pinpoint the real message that needs to be conveyed, creating a human story that moves and inspires an audience.

  • Promotional Videos for Non-Profit Organizations

As a freelance video producer, I specialize in creating high caliber, professional and creative promotional videos for non-profit and educational organizations. I understand the budgetary constraints of non-profit organizations and will work within a range of budgets and scope of work.

Funders respond to high quality video presentations that effectively convey your organization’s message. I will take your message, target it, and transform it into a concise and meaningful array of pictures, words, and sounds. You will then have the power of an impactful video to present your organization’s activities at fundraising events and through the web.

  • Back in Force

In addition to being a video producer, I was a stay-at-home mom for 13 years, and I am committed to providing resources to women who are returning to the workforce. The Back in Force blog chronicles my journey and shares information about the return-to-work process.

Blog topics include emotional roadblocks to relaunching, preparing your resume, updating your wardrobe, and preparing your family for re-entry.

Check out my weekly blog talk radio show on relaunching your career, with guests including authors, career counselors, therapists, and employers. (www.blogtalkradio.com/backinforce)

What works about this LinkedIn Summary Example?

  1. Conveys LeeAnn’s story and her passion (the resume summary does not).
  2. Contains multiple keywords that will get LeeAnn found on LinkedIn.
  3. Covers the different facets of what LeeAnn has to offer.
  4. Draws the eye to sub-headings so that readers can easily see what LeeAnn is about.  The text is broken into bite-sized pieces, not so blocky that no one will read it.
  5. Has a call to action.

Note that the resume summary does NONE of these five things, even though it is perfectly great as a resume summary.

Can you write a LinkedIn Summary Statement for yourself that accomplishes at least four out of the five functions listed above?  If yes, great — go for it!  If you need help, consider contacting The Essay Expert for a free 15- minute consultation.  We will be happy to write you a LinkedIn Summary that will help you get found on LinkedIn and have the impact you want on the people who read your profile.

The Essay Expert Presents: How to Write a Killer LinkedIn Profile — Wednesday April 6, 12:00pm CST

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Some of you have been on my LinkedIn webinars before. At least one of you got a call from a recruiter one week after making the changes I suggested — just from listening to the webinar!  Want to hear the recording of my last webinar?  Click on  How to Write a Killer LinkedIn Profile.

Your next opportunity to hear me present LIVE is this Wednesday, April 6, 2011 at 12:00pm Central time.  

Why would you want to attend this webinar?

If you are a professional in any industry, you simply can’t afford to have a mediocre LinkedIn profile. Your potential employers will all be scrutinizing your profile, and you want to make a great impression. In this webinar, I will take you through the most important sections of your profile and the most important strategies for getting found.

Topics covered:
• Why care about LinkedIn?
• What’s the point of 500+ connections?
• What should I write in my headline to get found?
• What should I write in my Summary?
• What are LinkedIn applications and how do I use them?
• How do I add LinkedIn’s new sections to my profile?
• How can I make the most of LinkedIn groups?

Join me and Robert Shindell of ilostmyjob.com to learn the answers to these questions – and make a “Killer” impression on the people who find you on LinkedIn.

Wednesday April 6th -
12:00pm CST