Archive for the ‘Writing Tips’ Category

Words to Delete from Your Cover Letter: Hope, Hone, Drawn, Feel

The words hope, hone, feel and drawn appear in almost every cover letter.  I’ve explained below why you don’t want to use these words and what some alternatives might be.

If you want to make your cover letter stand out, make sure to avoid these words completely.  You might be surprised at the result.

1.  HOPESuccess sign

e.g. I hope to hear from you soon.

OR

e.g. I hope to be able to contribute my skills to ABC company.

Why not?

Hope springs eternal.  The company doesn’t care about your hopes and dreams.  They care about what you can do for them.

Alternatives:

I look forward to speaking with you further regarding my qualifications.

OR

My ability to take clear, decisive action will allow me to make an impact at ABC company from day one.

OK, now we’re talking!

2.  HONE

e.g. This summer, I honed my research and writing skills through a position at XX law firm.

Why not?

You and every other person honed something.  It’s an outdated and overused expression.  Tell them what you did and they will figure out that you honed your skills.  If you absolutely must, use “strengthened,” “developed,” or even “sharpened.”

Alternative:

My research regarding constitutional rights violations culminated in a report and recommendations that guided the ACLU in future actions.

It’s obvious this person is using some powerful research and writing skills.

3.  DRAWN

e.g. I am drawn to ABC company because of its outstanding reputation and high quality service.

Why not?

You get drawn to a person across a crowded room.  Companies don’t care to hear that you are drawn to them.  And a bonus tip:  companies with outstanding reputations don’t need to be told that you want to work there because of their outstanding reputations.

Alternative:

The relationship management skills I built while working in a state office are a match for ABC company’s commitment to outstanding customer relationships.

That’s so much better, isn’t it?

4.  FEEL

e.g. I feel the relationship management skills I built while working in a state office are a match for ABC company’s commitment to outstanding customer relationships.

Why not?

Can you see how adding “I feel” at the beginning of this sentence killed it completely?  Tell a psychologist how you feel.  Tell a company what you can do for them.  If you must, use the word “believe” instead of “feel.”  But see if you can avoid this type of language altogether.

Alternative:

The relationship management skills I built while working in a state office are a match for ABC company’s commitment to outstanding customer relationships.

Delete these four words from your cover letters and I promise you more creative and powerful language will show up.

Did you try it?  Share examples in the comments please!

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$1.67 Billion Typo — Forgiven

 

Seal of the United States Court of Appeals for...
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I’ve always thought that typos, so long as they are few and far between, are less egregious errors than misspellings and other errors that stem from lack of knowledge.  Apparently a U.S. Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals judge agrees that people — and multi-billion dollar companies — who make typos should be given a second chance:  Verizon $1.67 bln typo can be fixed: court  I imagine my own typos and yours won’t have such monumental consequences.  Our readers are our judges, and we can only hope they have the same understanding as our nation’s highest courts. 

 

That said, if you are applying for jobs, your resume and cover letter are not the most ideal places to err.  Make sure to read, re-read, and re-read again.  There’s no need to risk judgment from a hiring manager that costs you a job.

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Mommy, Daddy, Tell Me a Story! – Spinning a Good Yarn with Your College Application, Resume, Cover Letter and Professional Bio

When we were kids, we all loved stories.  Well guess what?  That hasn’t changed!  I recently read an article on why storytelling is an effective training method and it sparked me to write this blog.

storybookThe fact is, we all love a good story.  Admissions committees love good stories.  Hiring managers love good stories.  Customers and clients love good stories.  Always remember:  the person you’re writing for is a human being!  How do you get another human being to read your document?  Spin a good yarn!

If you’re applying to college, tell a story with a beginning, middle and end.  I had a client who wrote about teaching his sister to ride a bike.  His first draft was all rosy about how great the experience was, and it did not have a compelling beginning, middle and end.  He felt lost in the writing, and the essay was boring. 

What ultimately made the story great was that he started at the beginning, when he was annoyed at his sister for being small and clumsy, then moved through the process of a breakthrough in becoming a teacher, and a better teacher — and finally to where he released the seat and the sister took off on her own on the bike.  Victory!  A great story.

In college applications, many times what makes a great story is to admit to a struggle or fault, and show how you broke through it.  In a cover letter, believe it or not, you can do the same thing. 

All kinds of people are saying “No one reads cover letters anymore.”  Well, of course no one is reading them – because they are stilted and boring and no one can get through them!  Have you ever considered that if you write a good enough story in your cover letter that it really *will* get read!

Do you have an example of a time when a project was failing, and you stepped in to fix it?  That makes a great story!  Is there an example of something you achieved that relates to the job you’re applying for?  Don’t be afraid to tell these stories in your cover letters!

On your resume, too, tell as much of a story as you can in a bulleted line. 

What not to write:  “Assisted scientists with their research.” 

What to write: “Conducted genetic, epidemiology, and behavior research on sport fish in Illinois, Canada, and the Bahamas.”

Ah, now that sounds kind of interesting!

For an example of a bio that tells a great story or two, see Senior Investment Analyst Bio on The Essay Expert’s website.   This client reported to me that she loved her bio story so much that she kept reading it to herself after it was done!

Whatever the reason, we all love a good story.  Tell one in your college and job applications.  Tell one in your bio.  If you do it well, your intended audience will keep reading…  and reading…  and reading.

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Is it Okay to Split an Infinitive? Can I start a sentence with “And”? Find Answers Here.

The New York Times published an article about three grammar issues and I was inspired to write about them myself!

Here are the rules and non-rules that tend to be confusing to many writers (and readers):

1. Yes it’s okay to occasionally split an infinitive!  But if you can be graceful, it’s better not to split it. 

“It’s okay to split an infinitive occasionally” would pose a lower risk of annoying your readers than the first sentence above, which, as you may have noticed, contains a split infinitive.

2. Yes it’s okay to start sentences with “And” or “But.”  But don’t overdo it.

3. “They” is NOT an appropriate reference to a single person!  Find a way around it.  Make your subject plural if that works, or say “he or she” if you really need to stay gender neutral and there’s no other way.  I ran into this issue in a recent blog post.  In it, I have the following sentence:

“If you haven’t already, sit down with your son or daughter and think about what colleges he or she might want to attend.”

My sentence is longer than it would have been if I had used “they,” and it’s not extremely graceful, but it is grammatically correct.  And correct grammar is essential for The Essay Expert!

4.  This one is not in the NYT article, but it’s one of my pet peeves:  the use of “this” without a reference.  This is not recommended.  The question always to ask yourself (or – see #1 – to always ask yourself) is, “This WHAT?” and tell us what the WHAT is. 

Rather than say “This is not recommended,” try “This construction is not recommended.”  Otherwise your readers will not know what “this” refers to.

Shall I go into whether it’s okay to end a sentence with a preposition?  Let’s save that one for another day.

For the New York Times article, go to More FAQs on Style

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The Big Red Word vs. the Little Green Man by Julia Turner

This article proves that Exit signs need editing too…  and that sometimes even the most effective language is not enough to convey an important message.  The Big Red Word vs. the Little Green Man 

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Why it’s Important to Write Right in the Legal Profession – And 5 Common Writing Pitfalls to Avoid

The following article, by Brenda Bernstein, was first published on MyLegal.com.

This past September, a federal judge in Florida denied a lawyer’s motion (without prejudice, so he can re-file the motion) stating that it was “riddled with unprofessional grammatical and typographical errors that nearly render the entire motion incomprehensible.” Click here for the full article.

The judge highlighted the following problems, among others:

• Incorrect use of apostrophes.

• Typographical errors (using the word “this” instead of “thus” and the word “full” instead of “for”).

• Incorrect placement of periods and commas outside of quotation marks.

• Wrong word use (using the phrase the plaintiff “had attended on filing” this action, instead of saying the plaintiff had “intended” to file an action).

• One very long sentence.

Don’t let this happen to you!

If you write legal documents in any way, shape or form, it is absolutely essential to use correct spelling and grammar. In a famous case in England, a traffic ticket was thrown out because it was issued for illegal “stoping” instead of “stopping”; the alleged perpetrator had conducted no mining activities (“stoping” is a mining term) and so was found not guilty. I bet that police officer never issued another “stoping” ticket.

Past or Present?

One extremely common error I see amongst law students is using the word “lead” to mean the past tense of “lead.” This mistake could get you in trouble, since the past tense of “lead” is “led” (with no a). You could be writing in the wrong tense!

Example or Complete List?

Another place you can easily convey the wrong meaning is with “i.e.” and “e.g.” When you use “i.e.” it means “that is” or “in other words.” The proper way to follow “i.e.” is with a definition or complete list. For example: The defendant was charged with illegal stoping, i.e., mining activity. “E.g.” means “for example.” The proper way to follow “e.g.” is with a partial list of possibilities. For example: The motion was denied for bad grammar, e.g., typographical errors and wrong word use. If “i.e.” were used here, we would need to provide a complete list of the examples of bad grammar.

Law or Liberty?

Do you know the difference between a statute and a statue? Statutes are laws. Statues are sculptures. We have statutes of limitations and a Statue of Liberty. Don’t get these confused. You might want to remember the extra “t” for “time” when it’s a statute of limitations, or for “text” when it’s any written law. And you might think of following those statutes to a “T” (or 3)!

Proper Punctuation: Periods and Commas Inside Quotation Marks

To touch on one of the Florida judge’s beefs, periods and commas, in the United States, always go inside quotation marks, even when they are not part of the quotation, e.g., The defendant was arrested for “illegal stoping.” Although there are rare exceptions to this rule, they will probably not appear in legal writing (they are more likely to show up in technical writing). For a detailed discussion of this issue, see my blog posting.

Proper Punctuation: Apostrophes

Many people incorrectly use apostrophes to make plural words. Don’t do it! Did you notice that the plural of apostrophe is NOT “apostrophe’s”? It is “apostrophes”! The plural words lawyers, judges, laws, statutes, DUIs and the 1990s do NOT take apostrophes.

Use an apostrophe “s” to make a singular possessive. The lawyer’s brief was riddled with errors. The judge’s ruling was final.

Use an “s” apostrophe to make a plural possessive. The five lawyers’ arguments diverged widely. All the county judges’ courtrooms contain the latest in audio-visual equipment.

Put your apostrophes in the right place – and avoid annoying the judge.

So Many Chances to Err!

There are multiple ways to make writing errors in legal documents, and I have only covered a few. My most important advice is to proofread and proofread again! Get a second pair of eyes to check your work. If you have grammar questions you want answered, I will answer them to the best of my ability in the comments section of this blog. I look forward to hearing from you…

Happy writing!

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Whether (or Not) – from the Columbia Journalism Review

Does “whether” stand on its own or does it need “or not” for its full expression?  Whether you think it’s the former or the latter, you will enjoy this explanation from Evan Jenkins of the Columbia Journalism Review.  Whether (or Not)

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Commas and Semicolons… The Comma (or Semicolon?) Chameleon – by Brenda Bernstein

I wrote this article for Sam Diener’s Stuff for Success at his request.  I hope my tips clear up some of the confusion about those pesky commas and semicolons!  Comma (or Semicolon?) Chameleon

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Nine Great Grammar Sites – by Peter Faur

I write about grammar as often as I can, but it will be quite a while before I cover every topic there is to cover.  Here are some resources that will help you in the meantime!  Nine Great Grammar Sites

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Can You Right Write? 10 MORE Common Writing Mistakes 2 Avoid

Here’s Part II of my run-down of some common writing errors, posted in Sam Diener’s “Stuff for Success” blog. Read here about how to properly use affect/effect, who/that, less/fewer, and more!  10 MORE Common Writing Mistakes 2 Avoid

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