Let’s start with a pop quiz:
Is there a grammar mistake in the title of my blog?
If you answered “Yes” and believe that “Between You and I” would be correct, you have a lot of company. However, “Between You and Me” is actually the correct structure.
Why do so many of us say “Between you and I”? My guess is that at some point, maybe around age 8, you may have said to your mother something like, “Jimmy and me are going to the store.” She corrected you: “It’s ‘Jimmy and I’” and something clicked in your head, and you thought that if you’re talking about yourself and another person, you should always say “I” instead of “me.”
I’m here to set the record straight.
There are pronouns that belong as the subject of a sentence. They are: I, you, she, he, we, you, they, it.
Then there are pronouns that belong as the object of a sentence. They are: me, you, her, him, us, you, them, it.
The first thing you need to know is not to mix these two groups together! “Him and I” for instance takes one pronoun from the object group and one from the subject group. Mixing and matching is always incorrect no matter where in the sentence the pronouns fall.
“Between you and me” is a little trickier because our language uses “you” as both subject and object. Which group are we in here? Think about it: Would you say “Between us” or “Between we”? Of course you would say “Between us.” Now you know you’re in the object group which includes both “us” and (would you believe it?) “me.”
A nice easy way to determine what pronouns to use, when you want to include two subjects or objects, is to try out the sentence with just one of the subjects or objects and see how it sounds. For example: “I [not me] went to the store.” “He [not him] went to the store. Therefore, “He and I went to the store.” Notice “he” and “I” are in the group with “we.” “We went to the store” is of course also correct.
Another example: “Dave went to the store with him [not he].” “Dave went to the store with me [not I].” Therefore, “Dave went to the store with him and me” is correct.
I realize for some of you that last sentence might sound completely wrong and ungrammatical. Between you and me, I think it’s time to change that perception.
There’s a little quiz you can take at UsingEnglish.com: Quiz: Subject and Object Pronouns. For more on this topic, see the article The English Personal Pronoun System.
Related posts:
- Common Grammatical Errors: Passover Readings and the Singular “They”
- Common Spelling and Grammar Errors: It’s vs. Its
- Common Grammatical Errors: Everyday vs Every Day
- Common Grammatical Errors: The Difference Between “i.e.” and “e.g.”
- Common Writing Errors: Parallel Construction, Sentence Fragments
Tags: Brenda Bernstein, Cover Letter, Cover Letter Tips, Cover Letters, Grammar, grammar tips, Writing Tips
Hallelujah!
Nicely written. I have often used the same technique of leaving out one of the subject/objects in trying to teach my kids the right form. It works to the extent they care at all!
Hooray for you!
My personal belief is the confusion mushroomed starting in the 1970′s as pop music lyricists became lazy with their rhymes. Using “me” or “I” at the end of a line whenever it is convenient is so much easier than working the lyrics to be gramatically correct. Once advertisers started being “cool” by mimicking the errors in order to rope in the younger audiences, the battle for correct grammar became a lost cause.
Here’s an idea for a remedy. How about a stiff state or federal “grammar” tax on all advertisers who perpetuate these errors. Besides educating English speakers, it’s a sure way to fill government coffers.
May I suggest for your next topic – the difference between “who” and “that.” Stanford University lost my respect when they ran an ad with a sentence referring to people as things (the sentiment of the ad was along the lines of “at Stanford, we have people that are tops in their profession”).
If I see these types of errors when I am looking to hire someone, the applicant’s resume goes to the bottom of the pile – or directly to the circular file.
The basic rule is that you always use objective case in a prepositional phrase. The prepositions are about, above, across, after, against, among, around, at, before, beside, behind, between, by, down, during, except, from, in, into, near, of, on, over, through, to, toward, under, up and with. If the personal pronoun comes after a preposition, it’s always me, him, us and them rather than I, he, we or they.
Well done! I would like to print this out and have it handy to pass on to those who regularly make the mistake of saying “me and him” as in “Me and him went to see the new movie last night.” Yes, besides mixing object and subject, these days people seem to insist on putting themselves before others. Is there any way to educate people without being perceived as the grammar police?
Another topic suggestion: I have vs. I’ve got. “You’ve got mail!” Nails on the chalkboard.
Thank you for explaining that so nicely and with such patience. I have more patience with grammatical errors coming from people who have grown up with it and haven’t changed than I do with those who are well educated and use “I” instead of “me” such as, “Please return your papers to Susan or I, rather than me. I don’t get it. How could it be missed after all the years of school, writing papers and speaking? It happens more frequently than any other. Nails on a chalkboard!
[...] has more to say on this subject, so if you are grammatically inclined, check out her [...]
Thanks for the ping! It’s always great to be quoted